Kingdom Hearts Karaoke
by Bloodyrose666
Summary: What the title says. I changed the song from the original, so don't freak out on me.
1. Get off of my Cloud

Parody of The Rollin Stones song. I changed the lyrics.

Chapter One: Get off of my Cloud!

"Leon! Cloud! You want to come to a karaoke bar tonight?"

Leon Leonhart and Cloud Strife glanced at each other. "Who's going to be there?"

"Oh, man, everybody!"

The pair glanced at each other then shrugged. "Sure, Kairi. We'll be there."

* * *

That night, Leon was first to go. He got up on stage, stared out at the twenty people in front of him, and grinned. "This song is dedicated to Cloud Strife, my best friend. Enjoy, bee-yotch."

I live in an apartment on the ninety-ninth floor of my block  
And I sit at home looking out the window  
Imagining the world has stopped  
Then in flies a guy who's all dressed up like a Chocobo Back  
And says, I've won five pounds if I like his kind of manly pack

I said, Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Don't hang around 'cause three's a crowd  
On my Cloud, baby

The telephone is ringing  
I say, "Hi, it's me. Who is it there on the line?"  
A voice says, "Hi, hello, how are you  
Well, I guess I'm doin' fine"  
He says, "It's three a.m., there's too much noise  
Don't you people ever wanna go to bed?  
Just 'cause you feel so good, do you have  
To drive me out of my head?"

I said, Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Don't hang around 'cause three's a crowd  
On my Cloud baby

I was sick and tired, fed up with this  
And decided to take a drive downtown  
It was so very quiet and peaceful  
There was nobody but my boy around  
We lay ourselves out, we were so horny and we started to scream  
In the morning the indecency tickets were just like  
A flag stuck on our window screen

I said, Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Don't hang around 'cause three's a crowd  
On my Cloud

Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud  
Don't hang around, baby, three's a crowd

He finished singing and glanced at Cloud, who was about as red as a tomato. He laughed and jumped off stage, ruffling the blonde's hair. "That was fun, huh, Cloud?"

* * *

Sora's next. 


	2. Oops, I did it again

Chapter Two: Sora

Sora jumped up and smiled at Riku Papou, his best friend. "My turn!"

Riku laughed. "You can't sing."

"Really? I _so_ can. Watch and prepared to be amazed."

He walked up on stage and pointed at Kairi, smiling. "This one's for you, baby. Love you!"

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again

I made you believe we're more than just friends

Oh baby

It might seem like a crush

But it doesn't mean that I'm serious

'Cause to lose all my senses

That is just so typically me

Oh baby, baby

Oops!...I did it again

I played with your heart, got lost in the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops!...You think I'm in love

That I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this

I'm already gay

Dreaming 'bout guys, the source of my bliss

I cry, watching the days

Can't you see I'm gay in so many ways

But to lose all my senses

That is just so typically me

Baby, oh

Oops!...I did it again

I played with your heart, got lost in the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops!...You think I'm in love

That I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Oops!...I did it again to your heart

Got lost in this game, oh baby

Oops!...You think that I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent

Oops!...I did it again

I played with your heart, got lost in the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops!...You think I'm in love

That I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent

Oops!...I did it again

I played with your heart, got lost in the game

Oh baby, baby

Oops!...You think I'm in love

That I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent

Kairi blinked, eyes wide and mouth open, her soda held loosely in one hand. "What…?"

Sora jumped off the stage, ran over to Riku, and sat back down next to him. "See, I can sing!"

Riku grinned. "I guess you can, Sora. Nicely done."

* * *

Hmm… Either Demyx or Xigbar is next. I'm not quite sure yet. 


	3. I wish I were queer so I could get chick

Chapter Three

Xigbar stood up and stretched. "I'm up. I'm drunk enough."

His roommate, Xaldin, blinked. "Xigbar? You sure?"

Xigbar nodded and grinned. "Well, I'm off."

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter  
My friend Xaldin kissed me in Home Ec. class  
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass  
I said guys I'm like you I like breaking stuff too  
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?  
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks  
Chicks dig guys that are  
Queer guys that don't dig  
Chicks that don't dig guys like me  
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly  
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be  
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony  
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity  
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry  
Scoring with a super model would be easy  
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonymous with 'super dumb'  
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become  
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair  
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear  
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks  
Chicks dig guys that are  
Queer guys that don't dig  
Chicks that don't dig guys like me  
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly  
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes  
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean  
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline  
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen  
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis  
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this  
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway  
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet  
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks  
Chicks dig guys that are  
Queer guys that don't dig  
Chicks dig guys that are  
Queer guys that don't dig  
Chicks dig guys that are  
Queer guys that don't dig  
Chicks that don't dig guys like me  
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly  
And I don't shave my heiny  
Don't shave my heiny  
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

He bowed and laughed, nearly falling off the stage. Most everybody there froze where they were, except for Leon and Cloud, who were clutching at each other, laughing so hard that tears were streaming down their faces. Xigbar walked off the stage, tripping and nearly falling onto Larxene, who blushed and pushed him away.

* * *

Demyx is next. Yay! 


	4. Brand new Girlfriend

Chapter Four

Demyx stood up and leaned down, kissing Axel on the cheek sweetly. "I'm heading up, sweetie."

Axel blushed. "Demi…"

"I love you."

"Oh… Knock yourself out, then."

He said, "I need sometime to find myself,  
I need a little space to think.  
Maybe we should start seeing other people.  
Baby, things are moving way to fast for me."  
so, I, I picked up what was left of my pride,  
and I put on my walking shoes,  
and I got up on that high road,  
and I did what any gentleman would do..  
I, um...

I got a brand new boyfriend.  
we went and jumped off the deep end,  
flew out to LA for the weekend,  
spent the whole day, lyin' on the beach,  
Wearin' nothin' but a smile,  
Playin' kissy-kissy, smoochy-smoochy,  
Talkin' mooshy-mooshy bout nothin'.  
Man, I think I'm on to somethin',  
Because I feel just like a kid again.  
I got a brand new boyfriend.

I love it when he calls me butter cup,  
He laughs and says I left the toilet seat up,  
He pops and tosses me a cold beer,  
and says my buddies always welcome here.  
When I get hungry, he takes me out.  
I ride the shotgun like a shitzu hound.  
My tails a waggin', my tongues hangin' out,  
it makes me wanna shout...  
I got a brand new boyfriend.  
we went and jumped off the deep end,  
flew out to LA for the weekend,  
spent the whole day, lyin' on the beach,  
wearin' nothin' but a smile,  
playin' kissy-kissy, smoochy-smoochy,  
talkin' mooshy-mooshy bout nothin'.  
Man, I think I'm on to somethin',  
Because I feel just like a kid again.  
I got a brand new boyfriend.  
wooo...  
cute, cute, cute...  
I got a brand new boyfriend.  
we went and jumped off the deep end,  
flew out to LA for the weekend,  
spent the whole day, lyin' on the beach,  
wearin' nothin' but a smile,  
playin' kissy-kissy, smoochy-smoochy,  
talkin' mooshy-mooshy bout nothin'.  
Man, I think I'm on to somethin',  
Because I feel just like a kid again.  
I got a brand new boyfriend.  
He likes to write our names in the sand.  
He's hearing wedding bells and making plans.  
He's gonna hang around a while I guess.  
He hasn't even told me she loves me yet.

He makes me feel just like a kid again,  
I gotta brand new girlfriend.

Axel turned a deep shade of red and attempted to hide his face, only to have Demyx jump off stage and run over to him. He kissed him forcefully, and Leon and Cloud glanced at each other in embarrassment. They would never admit it, but they both liked one another.

* * *

Um… I think I might have Riku up next. 


	5. Honkytonk Badonkadonk

Chapter Five

Riku stood up and walked up on stage. "Kairi, this is for you."

Turn it up some  
Alright boys, this is her favorite song  
You know that right  
So, if we play it good and loud  
She might get up and dance again  
Ooh, she put her beer down  
Here she comes  
Here she comes  
Left left left right left  
Whoo

Husslers shootin' eightball  
Throwin' darts at the wall  
Feelin' damn near 10 ft. tall  
Here she comes, Lord help us all  
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair  
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault  
It's so hard not to stare  
At that honky tonk badonkadonk  
Keepin' perfect rhythm  
Make ya wanna swing along  
Got it goin' on  
Like Donkey Kong  
And whoo-wee  
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma  
There outta be a law  
Get King Mickey on the phone  
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on  
That honky tonk badonkadonk  
(Aww son)

Now Honey, you can't blame her  
For what her mama gave her  
You ain't gotta hate her  
For workin' that money-maker  
Band shuts down at two  
But we're hangin' out till three  
We hate to see her go  
But love to watch her leave  
With that honky tonk badonkadonk  
Keepin' perfect rhythm  
Make ya wanna swing along  
Got it goin' on  
Like Donkey Kong  
And whoo-wee  
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma  
There outta be a law  
Get King Mickey on the phone  
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on  
With that honky tonk badonkadonk  
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' bout right there, honey)

We don't care bout the drinkin'  
Barely listen to the band  
Our hands, they start a shakin'  
When she gets the urge to dance  
Drivin' everybody crazy  
You think you fell in love  
Boys, you better keep your distance  
You can look but you can't touch  
That honkey tonk badonkadonk  
Keepin' perfect rhythm  
Make ya wanna swing along  
Got it goin' on  
Like Donkey Kong  
And whoo-wee  
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma  
There oughta be a law  
Get King Mickey on the phone  
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on  
That honky tonk badonkadonk

That honky tonk badonkadonk  
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk

(That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do  
It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey  
It's for the badonkadonk)

Riku got down off the stage and laughed. "That was a relief…"

Kairi walked up to him and threw her soda in his face. "You… You jerk! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Uh… You have a nice ass?"

* * *

I have nothing against Kairi! And Zexion is next. 


	6. Feeling this

Chapter Six: Zexion

Zexion stood up, brushed his bang out of his right eye, only to have it fall back into place. He smiled half-heartedly. "I suppose I'll go."

He walked up on stage and shrugged, grabbing the mic.

I got no regret right now (I'm feeling this)  
The air is so cold and low (I'm feeling this)  
Let me go in his room (I'm feeling this)  
I love all the things you do (I'm feeling this)

I wanna take off his clothes (I'm feeling this)  
Show me the way to bed (I'm feeling this)  
Show me the way you move (I'm feeling this)  
Fuck it, it's such a blur (I'm feeling this)  
I love all the things you do (I'm feeling this)

Fate fell short this time  
Your smile fades in the summer  
Place your hand in mine  
I'll leave when I wanna

Where do we go from here  
Turn all the lights down now  
Smiling from ear to ear (I'm feeling this)  
Our breathing has got too loud (I'm feeling this)  
Show me the bedroom floor (I'm feeling this)  
Show me the bathroom mirror (I'm feeling this)  
We're taking this way too slow (I'm feeling this)  
Take me away from here (I'm feeling this)

This place was never the same again  
After you came and went  
How can you say you meant anything different  
To anyone standing alone  
On the street with a cigarette  
On the first night we met

Look to the past  
And remember and smile.  
And maybe tonight  
I can breathe for awhile.  
I'm not in the scene  
I think I'm fallin' asleep  
But then all that it means is  
I'll always be dreaming of you.

Fate fell short this time  
Your smile fades in the summer  
Place your hand in mine  
I'll leave when I wanna

When he finished, he gave a very pointed and fixed stare to Marluxia, who blushed and stood, walking away. Zexion immediately followed, leaving the rest of the gathering in a sort of shocked silence.

* * *

Cloud's next. 


	7. Forever and for Always

Chapter Seven

Cloud stood up from his chair and went up on stage, his one visible eye glinting mischievously. He locked eyes with Leon, who automatically blushed. Cloud had that effect on him. Cloud merely nodded and launched into song.

In your arms I can still feel the way you

Want me when you hold me

I can still hear the words you whispered

When you told me

I can stay right here forever in your arms

And there ain't no way--

I'm lettin' you go now

And there ain't no way--

And there ain't no how

I'll never see that day...

'Cause I'm keeping you

Forever and for always

We will be together all of our days

Wanna wake up every

Morning to your sweet face--always

Mmmm, baby

In your heart--I can still hear

a beat for every time you kiss me

And when we're apart,

I know how much you miss me

I can still feel your love for me in your heart

And there ain't no way--

I'm lettin' you go now

And there ain't now way--

And there ain't no how

I'll never see that day...

'Cause I'm keeping you

Forever and for always

We will be together all of our days

Wanna wake up every

Morning to your sweet face--always

(I wanna wake up every morning)

In your eyes--(I can still see

The look of the one) I can still see

The look of the one who really loves me

(I can still feel the way that you want)

The one who wouldn't put anything

Else in the world above me

(I can still see your love for me) I can

Still see your love for me in your eyes

(I still see the love)

And there ain't no way--

I'm lettin' you go now

And there ain't no way--

And there ain't no how

I'll never see that day...

'Cause I'm keeping you

Forever and for always

We will be together all of our days

Wanna wake up every

Morning to your sweet face--always

'Cause I'm keeping you

Forever and for always

We will be together all of our days

Wanna wake up every

Morning to your sweet face--always

I'm keeping you forever and for always

I'm in your arms

Leon instantly burst into laughter at the look on everyone's face. The entire group had taken it so seriously, and… Why was Cloud looking at him that way? That was the clearly defined 'sex look' reserved for his myriad of girlfriends. Cloud got off of the stage and sat back down next to Leon. Leon jumped slightly when he felt Cloud's hand on his thigh, and he blushed slightly. Cloud smirked, and Aeris watched jealously.

* * *

Aeris is next, even though I hate her… 


	8. Nobody

Chapter Seven

Aerith Gainsborough, Cloud's girlfriend, climbed the stage next. She shook her head and directed her attention to Cloud. "This is for you, baby," she stated, her voice incredibly sarcastic.

Cloud glanced at Leon and knew that he was in trouble.

Sittin' in a restaurant and he walked by

I seem to recall that certain look in your eye

I said who's that you said with a smile

Oh it's nobody, aww nobody

Maybe that explains the last two weeks

You call me up dead on your feet

Working late again I ask who with

You said nobody, aww nobody

Well your nobody called today

He hung up when I asked his name

Well I wonder does he think he's being clever (clever)

You say nobody's after you

The fact is what you say is true

But I can love you like nobody can, even better

Late last night we went for a drive

You were miles away

I ask who's on your mind

You said nobody why do you ask

Oh him again, I could've told you that

We came back home got ready for bed

I said to myself I've got one shot left

You're still mine

And I won't stand in line behind nobody, aww nobody

Well your nobody called today

He hung up when I asked his name

Well I wonder does he think he's being clever

You say nobody's after you

The fact is what you say is true

But I can love you like nobody can, even better

Well your nobody called today

He hung up when I asked his name

Well I wonder does he think he's being clever

You say nobody's after you

The fact is what you say is true

But I can love you like nobody can, even better

Aeris dismounted the stage and gave Cloud a lingering, angry stare. Cloud was forced to look away, his laughter quelled for the moment. Leon stuck his tongue out at Aeris, who turned up her nose and went back to her table.

* * *

Kairi should be next. Maybe… 


	9. Call me when you're sober

Chapter Nine

Kairi got up on stage, fully intent on getting her revenge on Sora and Riku. She broke into song, her voice angry.

Don't cry to me  
If you love me  
You would be here with me  
You want me  
Come find me  
Make up your mind

Should I let you fall?  
Lose it all?  
So maybe you can remember yourself  
Can't keep believing  
We're only deceiving ourselves  
And I'm sick of the lie  
And you're too late

Don't cry to me  
If you love me  
You would be here with me  
You want me  
Come find me  
Make up your mind

Couldn't take the blame  
Sick with shame  
Must be exhausting to lose your own game  
Selfishly hated  
No wonder you're jaded  
You can't play the victim this time  
And you're too late

So don't cry to me  
If you love me  
You would be here with me  
You want me  
Come find me  
Make up your mind

You never call me when you're sober  
You only want it cause it's over  
It's over

How could I have burned paradise?  
How could I - you were never mine

So don't cry to me  
If you love me  
You would be here with me  
Don't lie to me  
Just get your things  
I've made up your mind

The girl threw down her microphone and glared at Sora and Riku, who had shut up for a few seconds. She got off of stage and walked over to the table she was sharing with a blonde girl named Namini, who crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at the two boys, who were choking back laughs. Cloud and Leon noticed this and locked eyes, realizing that the two teenagers were in the same predicament they were.

* * *

Um… Seifer is next! 


	10. I believe in a thing called love

Chapter Ten

Seifer took the stage next, his sights set on a blonde teenager named Hayner. He broke into song, never removing his gaze from the boy.

Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel

My hearts in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel.

Touching you, touching me

Touching you, cause you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love

Ooh! Huh!

I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day

You got me in a spin but everything is "A" O.K!

Touching you, touching me

Touching you cause you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love

Ooh! Guitar!

Touching you, touching me

Touching you, cause you're touching me, ooow

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love

Ooh!

He finished and walked off stage, winking at Hayner, who was sitting with a blonde boy named Roxas. Hayner blushed profusely and looked down at his soda, avoiding Seifer's gaze at all costs.

* * *

Tifa is next! 


	11. U & UR Hand

Chapter Eleven

Tifa got up and stage, noticed Cloud and Squall's glances at each other, and narrowed her eyes. She took the microphone from the stand and burst into song.

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh  
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh  
Check it out  
Going out  
On the late night  
Looking tight  
Feeling nice  
It's a fight  
I can tell  
I just know  
That it's going down  
Tonight  
At the door we don't wait cause we know them  
At the bar six shots just beginning  
That's when dick head put his hands on me  
But you see

I'm not here for your entertainment  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight  
Just stop and take a second  
I was fine before you walked into my life  
Cause you know it's over  
Before it began  
Keep your drink just give me the money  
It's just you and your hand tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh  
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh

Midnight  
I'm drunk  
I don't give a k  
Wanna dance  
By myself  
Guess you're outta luck  
Don't touch  
Back up  
I'm not the one  
Buh bye  
Listen up it's just not happening  
You can say what you want to your boyfriends  
Just let me have my fun tonight  
Aiight

I'm not here for your entertainment  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight  
Just stop and take a second  
I was fine before you walked into my life  
Cause you know it's over  
Before it began  
Keep your drink just give me the money  
It's just you and your hand tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh  
Break break  
Break it down

In the corner with your boys you bet 'em five bucks  
You'd get the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck  
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see  
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah

You know who you are  
High fivin, talking , but you're going home alone aren't cha?

Cause I'm not here for your entertainment  
No  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight  
Just stop and take a second  
Just stop and take a second  
I was fine before you walked into my life  
Cause you know it's over  
Know it's over  
Before it began  
Keep your drink just give me the money  
It's just you and your hand tonight  
It's just you and your hand

I'm not here for your entertainment  
No no no  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight  
Just stop and take a second  
Just take a second  
I was fine before you walked into my life  
Cause you know it's over  
Before it began  
Keep your drink just give me the money  
It's just you and your hand tonight  
Yeah oh

Tifa laughed slightly, jerked her head in Cloud's direction, and jumped off stage, walking back to her seat and sitting down primly. Cloud and Squall exchanged glances then burst into raucous laughter. The girl next to them backed away slightly, convinced that both were inebriated.

* * *

Um… I don't know who's next. Hayner, maybe. Or maybe Roxas. 


	12. Rape me

**Chapter Twelve**

Roxas took the stage, staring at Axel and Demyx with one of _those_ looks in his eyes. He grabbed the microphone and began belting it out.

Rape me  
Rape me, my friend  
Rape me  
Rape me again

I'm not the only one, Ah  
I'm not the only one...

I'm not the only one, Ah  
I'm not the only one...

I'm not the only one, Ah  
I'm not the only one...

Hate me  
Do it and do it again  
Waste me  
Rape me, my friend

I'm not the only one, Ah  
I'm not the only one...

I'm not the only one, Ah  
I'm not the only one...

I'm not the only one, Ah  
I'm not the only one...

My favorite inside source  
I'll kiss your open sores  
I appreciate your concern  
You're gonna stink and burn

Rape me  
Rape me, my friend  
Rape me  
Rape me, again

I'm not the only one, Ah  
I'm not the only one...

I'm not the only one, Ah  
I'm not the only one...

I'm not the only one, Ah  
I'm not the only one...

Rape me! (Rape me!)

Rape me! (Rape me!)

Rape me! (Rape me!)

Rape me! (Rape me!)

Rape me! (Rape me!)

Rape me! (Rape me!)

Rape me! (Rape me!)

Rape me! (Rape me!)

Rape me! (Rape me!)

Roxas finished the song and tossed down the mic with a flourish. He jumped off the stage and grabbed both Axel and Demyx's hands, pulling them out of the karaoke bar quickly.


End file.
